You know who should get to smoke marijuana? Police dogs. Think about it - they find all the drugs, and yet when the pot is confiscated, or even if the cops smoke it, who is left out? That's right! The police dogs. Think about the poor, sober police dogs who find all the weed and can smoke none next time you get your dog high. If you get your dog high. If you have a dog. If you actually smoke (though I doubt anyone who visits the blog doesn't).
So as an apology for yesterday's puzzle, here is a parody of a classic Harry Belafonte song. You all know this one; feel free to sing along:
"Now Pack the Bong"
Smoke, smoke, smoke, Aurora, smoke at party time
Smoke, smoke, smoke, Aurora, get baked all the time,
Bake, bake, bake, Aurora, smoke at party time,
Bake, bake, bake, Aurora, get baked all the time.
My girl's name is Aurora,
I tell you friends I adore her,
And when she gets high, oh brother!
She sits down and we play Grass* like no other.
(Now pack the bong, Take a hit, pass it on) Okay, I would like to,
(Now pack the bong, Take a hit, pass it on) Okay, I would like to,
(Now pack the bong, Take a hit, pass it on) Okay, I would like to,
(Now pack the bong, Take a hit, pass it on) Whoa!
Smoke, smoke, smoke, Aurora, smoke at party time
Smoke, smoke, smoke, Aurora, get baked all the time,
Bake, bake, bake, Aurora, smoke at party time,
Bake, bake, bake, Aurora, get baked all the time.
You can talk about munchies,
Brownies or just the cookies,
Aurora's high holds no title,
Just jump in the saddle,
Even though pot's not legal.
(Now pack the bong, Take a hit, pass it on) Okay, I would like to,
(Now pack the bong, Take a hit, pass it on)Rock your bong there, babe!
(Now pack the bong, Take a hit, pass it on) Somebody, pass it!
(Now pack the bong, Take a hit, pass it on) Whoa!
Smoke, smoke, smoke, Aurora, smoke at party time
Smoke, smoke, smoke, Aurora, get baked all the time,
Bake, bake, bake, Aurora, smoke at party time,
Bake, bake, bake, Aurora, get baked all the time.
Aurora, she's a good smoker,
I like to toke with her,
And you guys better watch it ,
When she rolls up the new joint, we go up like a rocket
(Now pack the bong, Take a hit, pass it on) Okay, I would like to,
(Now pack the bong, Take a hit, pass it on) Rock your bong there, babe!
(Now pack the bong, Take a hit, pass it on) Somebody, pass it!
(Now pack the bong, Take a hit, pass it on) Whoa!
Smoke, smoke, smoke, Aurora, smoke at party time
Smoke, smoke, smoke, Aurora, get baked all the time,
Bake, bake, bake, Aurora, smoke at party time,
Bake, bake, bake, Aurora, get baked all the time
Smoke, smoke, smoke, Aurora, smoke at party time
Smoke, smoke, smoke, Aurora, get baked all the time,
Smoke, smoke, smoke, Aurora, get baked all the time.
*For those of you who are unaware, Grass is a weed card game.
I got high on this girl,
Was buzzed at once and stoned most completely,
She's all over the world,
But sometimes her names can be so misleading,
Friends turn and say "are you all right?",
I said "I must be fine 'cause I am still smoking",
Mary Jane is part of what she goes by, also Juanita, Cucaracha,* and Yerhia
My head starts to whirl,
Then I rolled for the flavor,
And the bong for packing,
Can't keep away from this girl,
The blunt and my mouth need to have a meeting,
Can't think of anything to do,
My whole brain knows,
That the bag is emptying
I'm out looking for a bag new,
And I've smoked some once before
But it bears repeating
I'm out looking for a bag new,
And I've smoked some once before
But it bears repeating
My whole brain knows,
That the bag is emptying
I'm out looking for a bag new,
And I've smoked some once before
But it bears repeating
I got high on this girl,
Was buzzed at once and stoned most completely,
She's all over the world,
But sometimes her names can be so misleading,
Friends turn and say "are you all right?",
I said "I must be fine 'cause I am still smoking",
Mary Jane is part of what she goes by, also Juanita, Cucaracha,* and Yerhia
Can't think of anything to do,
My whole brain knows,
That the bag is emptying
I'm out looking for a bag new,
And I've smoked some once before
But it bears repeating
* Yes, Cucuracha. The song "La Cucuracha" is actually about a weed-smoking cockroach carrying a roach. Seriously. Oh, the humor.
In my defense it is hard to write songs when you can have trouble counting past two. Anyway, here is: Cage the Elephant - In One Ear:
They say I don't know how to roll, I ain't got the knack,
I ain't got the skill that I really need to have,
And I'm a phony playing with weed, trying to make the paper go,
My rolling is just so really bad, I've got more weed though
They say I'm just too stoned to know, another overhigh jackass,
Said "I'll roll a joint, but then they all went back to class
Another clumsy pot head who just can't seem to learn to roll,
Oh they love to see me try 'cuz most times it's a good joke
But I smoke one joint, and roll up another,
People talkin' shit, should just pass me the lighter
But I smoke one joint, and then roll another,
People talkin' shit, they can kiss the back of my bong!
Now I know I'm not too great, I've been a stoner all my life,
I ain't trying to hide my flaws, but you should pass over a light
They want to criticize, scrutinize, call me a damn fool
I rolled up a joint and now just sit over there and drool
See the Devil is my pal. I do a lot of drugs,
You all are staring at me like you're really fucking drunk
They thought they knew my thoughts, but I've been practicing,
If they listen to my words they'll be surprised at least.
But I smoke one joint, and roll up another,
People talkin' shit, should just pass me the lighter
But I smoke one joint, and then roll another,
People talkin' shit, they can kiss the back of my bong!
You know what? You know what happened?
You better gather around...because I've brought the good weed
...And we're gonna burn that motherfucker down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(AAAAAAAAAAH!)
So the moral to the story, is... well I don't know, sorry
Pot's good value for the money, and it really is something,
So now I'm high while writing it,, but I've gone and lost the story,
So with one last chorus I will go and touch a blunt up to a flame
But I smoke one joint, and roll up another,
People talkin' shit, should just pass me the lighter
But I smoke one joint, and then roll another,
People talkin' shit, they can kiss the back of my bong!
But I smoke one joint, and roll up another,
People talkin' shit, should just pass me the lighter
But I smoke one joint, and then roll another,
People talkin' shit, they can kiss the back of my bong!
