Harry Belafonte would be proud. Well, maybe not.
Day-o! Daaaay-o!
Daylight come and me wan' get stoned
Weed, me say weed, me say weed, me say weeed-hey
Daylight come and me wan' get stoned
No weed all night, and me wan' some fun
Daylight come and me wan' get stoned
Work all night at me boring job
Daylight come and me wan' get stoned
Come mister dealerman and deal me me weed up
Daylight come and me wan' get stoned
Come mister dealerman and deal me me weed up
Daylight come and me wan' get stoned
It six inch, seven inch, eight inch blunt
Daylight come and me wan' get stoned
Six inch, seven inch, eight inch blunt
Daylight come and me wan' get stoned
A beautiful mix of marijuana
Daylight come, and me wan' get stoned
Made with sweet tooth, and sativas
Daylight come and me wan' get stoned
It six inch, seven inch, eight inch blunt
Daylight come and me wan' get stoned
It six inch, seven inch, eight inch blunt
Daylight come and me wan' get stoned
Weed, me say weed me say weed me say weeed-hey
Daylight come and me wan' get stoned
Weed, me say weed me say weed me say weeeeed-hey
Daylight come, and me wan' get... stoned.
Leaning Tower of I WANT THAT COOKIE NOW!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Music Anyone?
This song is about overcoming a major problem of mine, and I hope others who share my issue will take heart by reading it. I call it "I Will Get High." Maybe Gloria Gaynor would be proud to sing this version. Probably not though.
At first I was so high, I was zombified
Kept thinking about eating a banana chocolate pie
But then I stopped and then I thought
thought how it would feel later on
And I grew strong!
And now I will just hit that bong!
And now it's back, the pie's just there
I just walked in because it called me; that look it isn't fair
I should have shared that stupid pie,
I should have eaten before weed
If I'd have known in just a minute I'd have had the worst munchies
Uh Uh No No
I'm out the door
But I've turned around now
'Cause I'm not running anymore
If I don't eat it, then I'll be able to stay high
If I eat I'll crumble, then I'll want to be sick and die
Oh no not I, I will get high!
Oh as long as I have weed to toke I know I will be fine
I've got a good high to live
It's so counterproductive
I will get high.
I will get hiiiiiiiiiigh!
Hey, Hey
It might take all the pot I have not to fall apart
I keep trying oh so hard never to lose heart!
Instead of sitting here tonight
just feeling sorry for myself,
I will not cry,
because I'm going to get high!
And you'll see me, not eating you
I'm not that crazy cookie monster
who at once you knew
And so you think that I'll give in
and just expect the mad munchies
But now I'm saving all my high time
For playing Nintendo Wii
At first I was so high, I was zombified
Kept thinking about eating a banana chocolate pie
But then I stopped and then I thought
thought how it would feel later on
And I grew strong!
And now I will just hit that bong!
And now it's back, the pie's just there
I just walked in because it called me; that look it isn't fair
I should have shared that stupid pie,
I should have eaten before weed
If I'd have known in just a minute I'd have had the worst munchies
Uh Uh No No
I'm out the door
But I've turned around now
'Cause I'm not running anymore
If I don't eat it, then I'll be able to stay high
If I eat I'll crumble, then I'll want to be sick and die
Oh no not I, I will get high!
Oh as long as I have weed to toke I know I will be fine
I've got a good high to live
It's so counterproductive
I will get high.
I will get hiiiiiiiiiigh!
Hey, Hey
It might take all the pot I have not to fall apart
I keep trying oh so hard never to lose heart!
Instead of sitting here tonight
just feeling sorry for myself,
I will not cry,
because I'm going to get high!
And you'll see me, not eating you
I'm not that crazy cookie monster
who at once you knew
And so you think that I'll give in
and just expect the mad munchies
But now I'm saving all my high time
For playing Nintendo Wii
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Happy Green Holiday of Choice
Today, while the Christian holiday of Christmas, is also a part of a holy season for many religions. Generally involving presents.
So in the spirit of the season, here are some good wishes...
For Christians, Merry Christmas! May you enjoy the presents under the tree. May they be green in nature. And may the fat man in the red suit have forgotten to eat the cookies you left him earlier, allowing to cure your munchies without having to try to find an open bakery on Christmas.
For Jewish people both reform and orthodox: Happy Hanukkah! May you enjoy lighting the candles on the Menorah and the exchange of gifts. May they be gifts of weed; giving you another way to use those candles.
For the Muslim among us: Have a Blessed Eid ul-Fitr! May you enjoy the breaking of your fast. Going without weed before sundown every day for a month is tough on anyone.
For Hindus out there: Have a Jolly Pancha Ganabati. May your Ganesh statue bring you the blessings of the Gods. And may it also make an AWESOME bong.
Atheists! Enjoy this day to smoke outside on which all the cops are at home celebrating their religious holiday of choice.
To Buddhists: Have a day during which you can be one with the holiday of Bodhi Day. Enjoy the celebration of the day of Buddha's Enlightenment . And may you also float on a green cloud of your own enlightenment.
To the Traditional Pagan religion: Have a Solstice Day on which the nights begin to get shorter and the days warmer. May you be visited by beautiful nymphs/satyrs bearing marijuana.
Shinto dudes and dudettes: Ōmisoka Happy. May your New Years Kite fly higher than all the rest. And may you be higher than all the rest too,
Taoists: May your lantern festival be fun. May your lanterns shine brightly with joy. And may you enjoy being as high as the lanterns hang.
Followers of Odin and the other Norse gods: Thursblot is upon you! As mighty Thor drives back the frost Jontuns once more, allowing the start of the return of spring to Midgard, may you warm yourselves around a blunt fit for Modi and Magni to share with Odin.
Finally, For Rastafarians: Damn. You guys have really got religion down, I mean every day of yours seems happy to me. Well, may you feel even chiller than usual. Mind if I sit with you guys for a bit? Tell me a bit more about your belief system. Please?
So in the spirit of the season, here are some good wishes...
For Christians, Merry Christmas! May you enjoy the presents under the tree. May they be green in nature. And may the fat man in the red suit have forgotten to eat the cookies you left him earlier, allowing to cure your munchies without having to try to find an open bakery on Christmas.
For Jewish people both reform and orthodox: Happy Hanukkah! May you enjoy lighting the candles on the Menorah and the exchange of gifts. May they be gifts of weed; giving you another way to use those candles.
For the Muslim among us: Have a Blessed Eid ul-Fitr! May you enjoy the breaking of your fast. Going without weed before sundown every day for a month is tough on anyone.
For Hindus out there: Have a Jolly Pancha Ganabati. May your Ganesh statue bring you the blessings of the Gods. And may it also make an AWESOME bong.
Atheists! Enjoy this day to smoke outside on which all the cops are at home celebrating their religious holiday of choice.
To Buddhists: Have a day during which you can be one with the holiday of Bodhi Day. Enjoy the celebration of the day of Buddha's Enlightenment . And may you also float on a green cloud of your own enlightenment.
To the Traditional Pagan religion: Have a Solstice Day on which the nights begin to get shorter and the days warmer. May you be visited by beautiful nymphs/satyrs bearing marijuana.
Shinto dudes and dudettes: Ōmisoka Happy. May your New Years Kite fly higher than all the rest. And may you be higher than all the rest too,
Taoists: May your lantern festival be fun. May your lanterns shine brightly with joy. And may you enjoy being as high as the lanterns hang.
Followers of Odin and the other Norse gods: Thursblot is upon you! As mighty Thor drives back the frost Jontuns once more, allowing the start of the return of spring to Midgard, may you warm yourselves around a blunt fit for Modi and Magni to share with Odin.
Finally, For Rastafarians: Damn. You guys have really got religion down, I mean every day of yours seems happy to me. Well, may you feel even chiller than usual. Mind if I sit with you guys for a bit? Tell me a bit more about your belief system. Please?
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Anyone Remember...
Does anyone remember that "Dude! You're getting a DELL!" guy. He got busted for pot; that's how he lost his job. It was really upsetting and embarrassing to law enforcement and politicians. This is because they always called marijuana a GATEWAY drug!
oh how I love puns.
oh how I love puns.
Pondering...
Have you ever noticed that an empty bowl needs to be filled, but a full bowl needs to be emptied?
Jokes:
Q: What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt?
A: A pot hole!
A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner, "How much for that TV set in the window?"
The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, "I don't sell stuff to potheads." So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit toking and will come back the next week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?"
And the owner says, "I told you I don't sell to potheads!" So the stoner leaves again.
He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV?"
The owner says, "I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!"
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, "How can you tell I'm a pothead?"
The owner looks back and says, "Because that's a microwave."
And in the spirit of Christmas:
"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." Merry Christmas, Buddy!"
Jokes:
Q: What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt?
A: A pot hole!
A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner, "How much for that TV set in the window?"
The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, "I don't sell stuff to potheads." So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit toking and will come back the next week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?"
And the owner says, "I told you I don't sell to potheads!" So the stoner leaves again.
He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV?"
The owner says, "I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!"
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, "How can you tell I'm a pothead?"
The owner looks back and says, "Because that's a microwave."
And in the spirit of Christmas:
"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." Merry Christmas, Buddy!"
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Who Wants To Sing?
Recently I wrote a parody. I have since lost the sheets, but it is committed to memory. I apologize to Gilbert and Sullivan. Here is my version of: I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General. (Look it up).
"I am the very model of a stone-ed individual,
I've information vegetable animal and herberal,
I know the weeds of worlds and can quote of pots historical,
From schwag and such to blueberry in order categorical
I am very well acquainted too with matters marijuanical,
I understand grow cycles both the simple and day/nightical,
About bong-hitting techniques I am teeming with a lotta news...
...lotta news... lotta news...Got It!
With many cheerful facts about how to make the bowl not loose!
(Chorus repeats this line 3 times)
I can tell the difference of weed from oregano,
I never get ripped off even by dealers I don't know,
In short in matters vegetable, animal, and herberal,
I am the very model of a stone-ed individual
(Chorus repeats last 2 lines)
I know pot's mythic history, famous users, and informants,
I stare at lava lamps for hours, I've a major taste for munchie snakes,
I can quote all the penalties for getting stoned,
by my state law knowledge I can shake any DA to the bone
I can tell undoubted Hindu Kush from Maple Leaf and Northern Lights,
I know too well the hacking cough and spinning head of being too high,
Then I can take a hit unlike any you have seen before.
seen before...seen before...Got It!
And exhale all the smoke in a way that you just can't ignore!
(Chorus repeats this line 3 times)
Then I can taste the colors of the music on my new i-Pod
And tell you every detail of how in life it's all so odd
In short in matters vegetable, animal, and herberal,
I am the very model of a stone-ed individual
(Chorus repeats last 2 lines)
In fact when I can know what is meant by blazing time and 4:20
When I can pack blindfolded a bowl or bong of gravity
When such affairs as police stings and bad bags I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by "Hey let me hit that!"
When I know what progress has been made in modern strain-crossing
When I know more of growing than a Hippie who is "gardening"
In short, when I've a smattering of Rasta and of Bob Marley..
Oh dear...Ah HA! I have it!
You'll say a better individual has never smoked with me!
(Chorus repeats 3 times)
For my marijuana knowledge though I'm quite high and stoned totally,
has only been brought up to the beginning of the blunt rolling,
In short in matters vegetable, animal, and herberal,
I am the very model of a stone-ed individual
(Chorus repeats last 2 lines)
"I am the very model of a stone-ed individual,
I've information vegetable animal and herberal,
I know the weeds of worlds and can quote of pots historical,
From schwag and such to blueberry in order categorical
I am very well acquainted too with matters marijuanical,
I understand grow cycles both the simple and day/nightical,
About bong-hitting techniques I am teeming with a lotta news...
...lotta news... lotta news...Got It!
With many cheerful facts about how to make the bowl not loose!
(Chorus repeats this line 3 times)
I can tell the difference of weed from oregano,
I never get ripped off even by dealers I don't know,
In short in matters vegetable, animal, and herberal,
I am the very model of a stone-ed individual
(Chorus repeats last 2 lines)
I know pot's mythic history, famous users, and informants,
I stare at lava lamps for hours, I've a major taste for munchie snakes,
I can quote all the penalties for getting stoned,
by my state law knowledge I can shake any DA to the bone
I can tell undoubted Hindu Kush from Maple Leaf and Northern Lights,
I know too well the hacking cough and spinning head of being too high,
Then I can take a hit unlike any you have seen before.
seen before...seen before...Got It!
And exhale all the smoke in a way that you just can't ignore!
(Chorus repeats this line 3 times)
Then I can taste the colors of the music on my new i-Pod
And tell you every detail of how in life it's all so odd
In short in matters vegetable, animal, and herberal,
I am the very model of a stone-ed individual
(Chorus repeats last 2 lines)
In fact when I can know what is meant by blazing time and 4:20
When I can pack blindfolded a bowl or bong of gravity
When such affairs as police stings and bad bags I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by "Hey let me hit that!"
When I know what progress has been made in modern strain-crossing
When I know more of growing than a Hippie who is "gardening"
In short, when I've a smattering of Rasta and of Bob Marley..
Oh dear...Ah HA! I have it!
You'll say a better individual has never smoked with me!
(Chorus repeats 3 times)
For my marijuana knowledge though I'm quite high and stoned totally,
has only been brought up to the beginning of the blunt rolling,
In short in matters vegetable, animal, and herberal,
I am the very model of a stone-ed individual
(Chorus repeats last 2 lines)
Snack Today
OK, so today I made the Greatest Snack In The History Of The World. I was waiting for my chocolate chip cookies to bake, and I was hungry. I'll try and get a picture of one of these sometime.
"What is it?" I hear you cry.
Well, start with one of those Crescent Rolls from the grocery store. Then, cook it (11 minutes should do). Next, make an incision in a roll. With a knife, place raw chocolate chip (or other flavor) cookie dough inside the hot roll. Place in microwave on high for precisely 7 seconds. No more, and no less. Remove from microwave and eat while dough is gooey. By the time you finish a couple, your cookies will be ready. Do NOT forget about the cookies in the oven.
There you have it, the greatest snack ever. Unfortunately my phone hates me, so getting a picture will take a little longer than I'd like (and I already ate the last of the rolls).
"What is it?" I hear you cry.
Well, start with one of those Crescent Rolls from the grocery store. Then, cook it (11 minutes should do). Next, make an incision in a roll. With a knife, place raw chocolate chip (or other flavor) cookie dough inside the hot roll. Place in microwave on high for precisely 7 seconds. No more, and no less. Remove from microwave and eat while dough is gooey. By the time you finish a couple, your cookies will be ready. Do NOT forget about the cookies in the oven.
There you have it, the greatest snack ever. Unfortunately my phone hates me, so getting a picture will take a little longer than I'd like (and I already ate the last of the rolls).
*Tap Tap* This Thing On?
OK, this is your warning. If you are not amused by stoners, go away. I put up the adult warning, but if you can't take a joke, this is probably not the place for you. This is my ranting-space. I'm going to share things that happen While I Was Stoned (hence the name).
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