Happy Green Holiday of Choice

Today, while the Christian holiday of Christmas, is also a part of a holy season for many religions. Generally involving presents.

So in the spirit of the season, here are some good wishes...

For Christians, Merry Christmas! May you enjoy the presents under the tree. May they be green in nature. And may the fat man in the red suit have forgotten to eat the cookies you left him earlier, allowing to cure your munchies without having to try to find an open bakery on Christmas.

For Jewish people both reform and orthodox: Happy Hanukkah! May you enjoy  lighting the candles on the Menorah and the exchange of gifts. May they be gifts of weed; giving you another way to use those candles.

For the Muslim among us: Have a Blessed Eid  ul-Fitr! May you enjoy the breaking of your fast. Going without weed before sundown every day for a month is tough on anyone.

For Hindus out there: Have a Jolly Pancha Ganabati. May your Ganesh statue bring you the blessings of the Gods. And may it also make an AWESOME bong.

Atheists! Enjoy this day to smoke outside on which all the cops are at home celebrating their religious holiday of choice.

To Buddhists: Have a day during which you can be one with the holiday of Bodhi Day. Enjoy the celebration of the day of Buddha's Enlightenment .  And may you also float on a green cloud of your own enlightenment.

To the Traditional Pagan religion: Have a Solstice Day on which the nights begin to get shorter and the days warmer. May you be visited by beautiful nymphs/satyrs bearing marijuana.

Shinto dudes and dudettes: Ōmisoka Happy. May your New Years Kite fly higher than all the rest. And may you be higher than all the rest too,


Taoists: May your lantern festival be fun. May your lanterns shine brightly with joy. And may you enjoy being as high as the lanterns hang.


Followers of Odin and the other Norse gods: Thursblot is upon you! As mighty Thor drives back the frost Jontuns once more, allowing the start of the return of spring to Midgard, may you warm yourselves around a blunt fit for Modi and Magni to share with Odin.



Finally, For Rastafarians: Damn. You guys have really got religion down, I mean every day of yours seems happy to me. Well, may you feel even chiller than usual. Mind if I sit with you guys for a bit? Tell me a bit more about your belief system. Please?