Music

Today, The Ramones fall victim to my attempts at parody.

Hey ho, let's smoke!
Hey ho, let's smoke!
Hey ho, let's smoke!
Hey ho, let's smoke!

They're rolling up the blunt now
They'll all soon be saying wow.
It's what the cops won't allow
They're smoking up.

They're going to hit the bong
It's been oh so very long
One of them might write a song
They're smoking up.

Hey ho, let's smoke
Pack it really tight too
What we have, we will smoke
We're all prepared and ready to toke.

They're rolling up the blunt now
They'll all soon be saying wow.
It's what the cops won't allow
They're smoking up.

They're going to hit the bong
It's been oh so very long
One of them might write a song
They're smoking up.

Hey ho, let's smoke!
Hey ho, let's smoke!
Hey ho, let's smoke!
Hey ho, let's smoke!

It Had to Happen Sometime, I Suppose

The End of the Bag, a haiku by me.

The resin is gone
The bitter taste is fading
Now there is no more

(sad right?)

A Message of Hope, also by me.

It is a dry spell
Still, pot comes up like "weeds" do
Good days will return

(I know, not as good right? It never is right now).

How do you know when someone is stoned?

Someone is stoned when that someone has offered a friend increasing sums of money via text to go to McDonalds and pick up food. That someone is currently up to $30 cash on the spot, and the friend is holding out silently for a better deal. Or hasn't checked his messages yet, and will FEEL VERY SILLY IN THE MORNING!!! You hear that, you're going to laugh and laugh.



That is all.

Names

So I was thinking, what would be some good names for strains? There a few requirements. The name must not already BE a strain (to the best of my knowledge), it must be in some way descriptive, and it must sound (sort of) like a real strain names. Let's see what I have:

• Purple Dragon - An extremely high quality strain, designed to give you a feeling of gently gliding through the air while you breath out smoke
• Shrubbery - A name for highly detested low quality strain that most smokers will think twice about smoking. The weed equivalent of Mad Dog 20 20. Only for the desperate.
• Firework - A tricky kind of weed with a bad creeper element to it. It does very little for the first 10 minutes or so, but then hits hard and lights up your mind.
• Mousetrap - A mid-grade sativa that lures people in with its ability to hit very smoothly, but makes most people so baked they have to sit down.
• Midnight - They said smokers couldn't get blackouts. They were wrong!
• WaterNymph- This strain was discovered after the bigger growers pooled their money for a little R&D. They turned this project over to fantasy novel obsessed scientist nerds, who got to name it. In any case, It's a calmer that helps the mind focus, especially in creative ways. Highly desirable despite its ridiculous name, which many male stoners feel really uncomfortable saying.

That was fun. I may try again  sometime. Enjoy the ideas!

Why So Serious?

First of all, this is not a trend, it's a one off thing. I promise I'm not going to get all political and gloomy on here again.
However, with talk of decriminalization of marijuana in several more states, and full legalization potentially on the horizon in California and Colorado, I feel compelled to mention a few things about medical marijuana. Let's take just one point (or I'd be here all day).

Bipolar Disorder - Some effects of bipolar can include in various combinations at various times: hyperactivity, feelings of invincibility, poor judgment, rapid speech, racing thoughts, aggressive behavior, risky behavior, spending sprees, insomnia, delusions, sadness, hopelessness, anxiety, suicidal behavior, fatigue, inability to concentrate, and rapid mood swings. I could go on, but that's enough to give a general idea.

One medicine commonly used to deal with this disease is Lithium. Here are some of the potential common side effects of Lithium: Involuntary hand tremor (potentially PERMANENT) ; dehydration, nausea, general discomfort, acne, permanent hair loss, excessive weight gain, dry mouth, excessive saliva, tongue pain, discomfort in colder temperatures, brittle fingernails, serious liver, kidney, and/or thyroid damage if dose is too high, and thoughts of suicide.

Here are some of the more serious side effects. Don't worry, your odds of getting some of these is only about 20%:

Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); blurred vision; confusion; diarrhea; drowsiness; fainting; giddiness; inability to control the bladder or bowels; increased or decreased urination; loss of consciousness; loss of coordination; muscle weakness; persistent headache; persistent or severe nausea; ringing in the ears; seizures; slow or irregular heartbeat; slurred speech; swelling of the ankles or wrists; unsteadiness; vision changes; vomiting.

While there are other pharmaceutical drugs available, the list of potential side effects is quite similar.

On the other hand, marijuana, though not perfect, or even necessarily enough on its own, can alleviate many of the symptoms without causing any of that ridiculous list of side effects.

So this was probably really depressing. I will try to write a happy entry later. In the meantime, there is yet another reason to support legalization.

History

So I was thinking, since many stoners get the munchies, what if famous historical people had smoked and gotten the munchies? So here are a few suggestions for some people who are someplace the deceased go:
CAUTION: THIS BLOG ENTRY MAY CAUSE MUNCHIES!




Napoleon: What else but an eclair:

The creme filled pastry with icing, and a traditional French food (no foreign cultural influences for him).

Abraham Lincoln: Kettle-cooked potato chips. Just invented 10 years previously by an angry chef, they were a new dish of the time, and Lincoln loved new inventions:









Franklin Roosevelt: I would have said Hitler but that's just too "tasteless" (get it, haha) for my blog:
Krispy Kreme doughnuts: This chain had started up just in 1937, during the Depression. Roosevelt had money though, so no problem for him to buy a dozen doughnuts. Tragically, he died a year before the invention of Nutella  I'm not going to torture anyone with a doughnut pic, though.

One more for you today. What about Genghis Khan, who at one point had an empire controlling a quarter of the world and still today be genetically related to half the kids in Mongolia? What would he eat for munchies?

Anything he wants.

Invention

The Invention for the Day is: the edible pipe. Genius! It could come in a package that could let you unwrap, smoke, and then eat the pipe after.
(Kind of like edible underwear, but yet somehow not).

Humor (of a sort)

Why did the giant cookie eat the stoner?
Preemptive Strike.

Good news: The stoner had a bunch of cookies,
Bad news: They were really cold,
Good news: He had a microwave to heat them up
Bad News: The microwave had some ketchup in places,
Good News: He didn't put the cookies on the ketchup,
Bad News: He confused the microwave with the garbage disposal and lost aaaaaaaaall the cookies.
(Tragic)

Which is better?
Pot brownies when sober or regular brownies when high?
(Think about it)

If a stoner walks into a fast food place at midnight and orders 400 chicken nuggets with the money to pay, does the staff have to actually do it? Or is there some sort of policy about that? What about 1200? I mean that's only a few hundred dollars, if I was rich it'd be worth it.

Chess

I'm going to go to an online chess game place and try to beat sober people at chess. I will let you know the results of my experiment below. I always wanted to do that someone in person.

Well, I lost one to a computer, but I couldn't find any free online player to player sites. So no conclusive evidence, I would absolutely LOVE to challenge a sober person to a  game of chess and then beat them badly. It would be awesome.

Solution

For anyone who was wondering, the sentence reads "If you can read this, you are not smoking enough pot." By "doubles" you take every second word and remove it :) So words like youtube and elves were just distractions! Not bad for a baked guy, huh?

Doubles

The title is all the hint anyone should need to know:

If kitten you dance can pig read purples this crystals, you beagle are youtube not elves smoking prunes enough mousetrap pot.

Maybe I'll even post a solution later for those who fail. :)

John Lennon

I have a new song. If by some odd chance you don't know who The Beatles are, take a look at this:

 

 That's right, today we shall "Light the Weed"

When I find myself in tons of sadness, 

Mary Jane, she comes to me, 

Speaking words of wisdom,

Light the weed

And in my time of packing,

She is always here in front of me,

Whisper words of wisdom

Light the weed

Light the weed (x4)

Whisper words of wisdom,

Light the weed

And when the stoners share their their pot together at 4:20

They will be so happy,

Light the weed.

For soon we may be parted,

In the future we shall again all meet

This will be the answer,

Light the weed.

Light the weed (x4)

That will be the answer

Light the weed

And now we are all so high,

there is still a light so we can see

Smoke until tomorrow

Light the weed

I wake up to the sound of a bong,

Mary Jane she comes to me,

There will be no sorrow

Light the weed

Light the weed (x4)

There will be no sorrow

Light the weed

Light the weed (x4)

Whisper words of wisdom,

Light the weed